top of page
  • Writer's pictureBen Green

New year, new me...??? The resolution revolution!

New Year generally comes with a collection of friends uploading Facebook posts proclaiming their New Years resolutions... dry January... joining a gym... learning a new language... Veganuary. And hats off to them, I have boat loads of admiration for everyone wanting to live healthier lives and expanding their brains, it's a hell of a lot more than I ever do on January 1st! You see, I'm not normally one for making New Year's resolutions as I never stick to them, I make them completely unrealistic (like I want to start up my own pygmy goat farm in my back garden) and by January 5th I've completely forgotten what the new goals I'd set were! So this year I have taken some inspiration from an article I've read in a mag and decided not to make resolutions for me to 'do' but to make resolutions for me to 'feel'.


I had a sit down and brainstormed what it was I wanted to feel in 2020. I could go crazy and give myself loads of goals but I knew this was exactly what had happened in years gone by and it just didn't work so I narrowed it down to three. One of the first things I wanted was to feel more in control. When you're diagnosed with cancer you feel completely out of control in ALL areas of your life. The cancer controlled who I could see (if my friends were ill I had to apologise and rearrange our catch up for another time to see them), it controlled the food I ate, it stopped me from organising things both short-term and long-term and all of a sudden I felt out of control of my body and felt incredibly unhealthy. And all I could think was 'How dare this thing creep into my life and steal all these things from me!!' I was fully aware and accepting of the fact that I couldn't just grasp at all areas of my life and take charge again... some changes had to stay whether I liked it or not. So I decided to start making small changes that made me feel more in control.


I don't know if you've gathered from previous posts but I'm someone who loves my food. I like to eat a wide range of stuff from lots of different countries and cultures and try to keep things on the healthy side... to a degree. I'm someone who will go to a Thai restaurant and order a rice bowl with a load of veg, not someone who orders a banana split and asks them to minus the banana!! So now that I can eat again I felt it was time to get eating healthily and steer away from the 'food' that I'd been forced to eat for weeks. I mean, don't get me wrong... the Smooth Caramel build up drinks were okay on week one but by day 874 I wanted to launch them at the very person who had invented them. So a healthy diet with a good range of foods was my first step in taking back control.


My second resolution was I wanted to feel informed, aware and educated around Oesophageal cancer and cancer in general. I feel that this is an opportune moment to just share my loathing of how the word 'oesophageal' is spelt. Typical bloody English...


"Let's start the word with an 'O' to annoy people".

"Okay. And how shall we end the word? With an 'ial'?"

"No, with an 'eal' just to p*ss everyone off even further!!!".


SO ANNOYING!!!!


So anyway, back to the task at hand... I am reading articles and studies, I'm speaking to people - people working within the profession and people who have been diagnosed and I'm meeting up with others. The diagnosis was a big enough surprise to last me a life time so I don't want any more surprises thank you very much and doing a bit of background reading has definitely helped with that.


My third and final resolution was I wanted to feel like I'm of use to people because pretty much straight away after getting my diagnosis I felt pretty vulnerable and useless. Lets just stick with the vulnerability for a sec... As soon as I was diagnosed I was suddenly very aware that I needed to be as healthy as possible. I needed my body to be working at full steam if it was going to have the best chance to fight this cancer. I was driving slower, I stopped practising rugby, I was avoiding risks anywhere I could because I was hugely aware that my body was the weapon that I was going to use to not only fight the cancer but the side effects of the chemo too. I couldn't risk a broken leg or a dislocated collar bone. All of a sudden I wanted to wrap myself up in cotton wool.


To feel more useful I decided to start up a Twitter account and then a blog. The blog wasn't in the initial plan but I had more to say than I was allowed on Twitter so after a few nudges from friends and family a blog seemed like the most obvious option.


The largest population of people who are diagnosed with oesophageal cancer are men in their 60s, 70s and 80s and I remember thinking that these people aren't going to be on Twitter spreading the word about oesophageal cancer or warning people of the dangers of certain lifestyles or educating others on the initial symptoms of oesophageal cancer. So I felt a huge responsibility to do this. And so was born the Twitter account and blog. I mean, I don't know if people read my ramblings about rice bowls and banana splits but if anything it makes me feel better by knowing that I'm trying to get the word out there. If I can't climb a mountain and raise money then the least I can do is sit in an arm chair and ramble.


Here's to feeling more in control; feeling informed, aware and educated and feeling useful!


486 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page